Peace.
Whether it is World Peace...Peace on Earth...Peace of Mind...or (somedays) just
"5 minutes peace"...it all starts the same.
Within.
When life appears to be spiraling out of control...whether it is the sadness you feel while watching the evening news...or trying to make sense of your marriage or relationship or life choices...the sulky teenager or just the younger kids who have bickered and whined the last half hour...you can find peace.
Actually, it has been there all along.
First we use our mental stop-sign
Then we close our eyes take a few cleansing breaths.
Centering.
World News is a lot like anything we put in our body. It follows the GIGO Principle. Garbage in/Garbage out. Much of what we watch/read today is sensationalized to elicit a strong response...and it does. Much is filtered through an agenda (be it left or right) and seemingly gone are the days of Walter Cronkite and "That's the Way It Is" In fact journalism in general has fallen by the wayside and been replaced by semi-factoids and sound bites.
Buddha reminded us centuries ago:
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."
Good advice 2,500 years ago...and today.
It is important to balance the bad news with the good. Seek out positive news as well.
If you read/hear something that particularly disturbs you. Research it. Use multiple sources from multiple points of view. Is it accurate? If it is...is there something you can do to help find a solution? Make it better.
Note: I did not say "fix" here.
With World News it is overwhelming and unrealistic to think you can fix the problem. Although we can't personally "fix" or control global actions like war or hunger...we can contribute to the solution of those problems. Our feelings of helplessness or inability to make a difference is what disturbs our peace.
Is there something you can engage in on a local level?
Can you become more politically active?
Can you spare cash/resources/personal time?
Act.
As Ghandi said:
"Be The Change You Wish To See In The World."
Peace in our relationships/marriage/life required the similar consideration.
Most of our problems are self-created. Through expectations/neglect/anger/thoughtlessness/impatience. Then when problems arise we compound the trouble (and sabotage our own peace of mind) by attempting to assign blame instead of "owning" our troubles.
Simplified, instead of discovering ways that we might modify our behavior/thoughts/expectations to improve our situation we spend inordinate amounts of time thinking somehow we can (or should be able) to control others.
We often attempt to label others to justify our unhappiness. Does this change anything or give us peace of mind? Or does it just fuel the flames?
Ghandi had an insightful quote about these situations:
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
The sulky teenager or bickering six year olds?
Dispersing the single most important piece of parenting advice I have:
Never Engage.
Am I saying to let them do whatever they want? Certainly not. A valuable lesson I learned as a psychiatric nurse (and later wrote a paper on) is entitled:
Teenagers, Two Year Olds and Psychiatric Patients
To summarize the paper...the dynamics are much the same. None of the three will EVER stop...reflect...and then look at you and say:
"I was mistaken...you are absolutely correct."
They will, however, argue you to dust. And before long people outside the situation will have a difficult time knowing who is the teen, the two year old, the psych patient, or you.
State your objectives. Then stop talking. Refuse to be dragged into a debate. Walk away if necessary. Listen. Consider. Compromise if possible. But never engage.
Often all three can be managed by effective diversion. Or listening. Or mutual compromise.
(for everything else there is duct tape)
Just kidding!
Just remember peace within...
becomes peace in our lives.
