Moments

                    "We Do Not Remember Days...We Remember Moments"   
                                                                              Cesare Pavese



In our lifetime we can count on 35,536,100 seconds each year.  An average lifespan of 80 years gives us 2,522,880,000 seconds.

Some get more.

Some get less.

We use a full third of those seconds sleeping life away.

We spend another third working or pursuing the day to day tasks of living.
 Cleaning the house or buy the groceries and such...the day to day.

These are not the moments remembered.

There is a glorious 1/3 remaining.

The First Kiss.

A Moonlight Embrace.

The Taste of Grandpa's Homemade Ice Cream or Grandma's Cobbler

The First Sight Of The Ocean.

A Lover's Smile or Words.

The Smell of His or Her Cologne.

Walking in a new snowfall.

A Grandchild's hug. 
 
A Kiss in the Rain.

The first gaze on the face of your Newborn.

A Cold Glass of Tea after Putting up Hay.

A Walk through a meadow strewn with wildflowers and a wildflower bouquet.

And the list is endless. These are our memories...our moments...

This morning as I was leaving in the 100 degree heat...my eye caught the sight of a tiny hummingbird "playing" in the shell-arc droplets of a sprinkler. 

Another Moment frozen in time.

Life is short.

Watch for Your Moments :)

Adaptation

              "And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."  Anais Nin



Or to paraphrase Steve another member of DS-

 "Life changed...So I decided it was time to change my life." 

In the Natural World, adaptation is usually linked to survival. In our lives it often plays a very similar role.  To survive and thrive requires a series of adjustments.Everyday there are adaptations (choices) to be made.

Some are scarcely perceptible.  We stop to mail a letter and the post-office is closed for an hour. So we mull it over for a moment...then maybe we walk to a nearby Cafe for a cup of coffee and maybe read a chapter or two in a book.

Some are more annoying. There is road-work on your usual route necessitating a detour daily until it is finished. Annoying but still manageable, as we scout for the best way to get around the roadblock until the month passes and the work is done.

Then there are the biggies. These can go unnamed. We all know what they are. The lifemoments that shake your core beliefs. Take away your firm foundation. Leave us dazed and confused. Or alone. Jobless. Or disabled. Homeless or Childless. Widowed. Orphaned.

 A Survivor.

And after the dust settles we realize that not only has everything changed. We have changed as well.

Perhaps a bit more assertive. Or a little less naive. A little more (or less) tolerant. Less trusting. Maybe we appreciate the little things more. Maybe we take less for granted. It's a process. And one size NEVER fits all.

So we stumble through the darkness toward the light, because if we look for it...there is always light.

And when we emerge...we are transformed. Just as tempered steel is given strength by the furnace and extreme heat. We are tempered. Stronger. And whereas our lives will never be "the same"...we can look forward and build the life we want today.

Companionship/Friends

Friends...so many shades of friendship...acquaintances...casual friends...golf buddies or car buddies...beer buddies...childhood friends...co-worker friends...professional friends...music/art/scrap-booking friends...book or cooking club friends...e-friends...travel friends...trail ride friends...family friends...best friends...for aways friends...close friends...friends who live miles away...married friends...college friends...companions or lovers.

Real friends...forever friends...love us...warts and all.  Maybe love us more because we aren't perfect. Want to lose the same 25 pounds...and maybe will...as soon as we both finish this delightful slice of chocolate cake. Real friends listen...and care...and love. Real friends have our backs. Because we always have theirs.

Real friends sometimes step on each others toes...but they apologize...laugh...and stumble on together. 

Real friends do not engage in Shadenfreude.  A German term which describes getting pleasure from the misfortune of another.


Real friends aren't superficial...go through a tough time...you will certainly find out who are really your friends.

Just like our need for Solitude...our need for Companionship is inherent. Whether we are introverts or extroverts our tribe instinct has existed since the dawn of mankind.  Some tend to gravitate toward people who are similar or have similar interests...some polar opposites. Most fall somewhere in the middle. 


Egotists have the most trouble finding or keeping friends. Because to have a friend you have to be a friend.  To be interested in someone other than yourself...and the minutia of your own life.  To let someone else shine. To cheer someone else on. To sometimes try or do something outside your own Comfort Zone because your friend wants to try it or travel there or experience something. To care about someone else.


Potential friends?

Everywhere.

 Across the street or down the hall...or across the Globe. At the grocery or Zumba class. In a group or online. A friend of a friend...or maybe just everyone you come in contact with everyday :)

The Universal Language?

A Smile

(...that one is simple...even infants pick up on it quickly...)

A joke...a shared interest...or commiserating together in the queue from Hell!


Keeping a friend.


Treat them the way you want to be treated. Let them shine and celebrate their achievements. Be there in the dark times and the light.  Let them know they are important to you. Be their cheerleader...and they will be yours. Sometimes just listen...not everything is able to be fixed...but everyone is able to listen and care.  Don't judge them, belittle them, humiliate them, chastise them  or ignore them.  People may forget what you said to them...but they will never forget how you made them feel.  


Many  "frenemies" are created just that way.

And "frenemies"?




Just send them love and light and wish them well 
                        as they travel their path in life!

Solitude

                                        French Quarter Courtyard: NOLA



Solitude is just as important to us as Companionship.


Solitude gives us time to think...to dream...to explore.  Time to do things we have always wanted to do.  Time to figure out exactly what those things might be.

Alone is not synonymous with lonely.  Sometimes people in the midst of their family or the midst of a crowd can be the loneliest people we know.

Sometimes we strive to fit in into our busy lives...other times we find ourselves thrust into it.

Nature abhors a vacuum and many people faced with solitude are panicked.
What to do...what to do next...what then...and how can I go to dinner or a movie (or a vacation) solo.

 If we are not comfortable with our own company...in our own skin...how can we possibly be comfortable in the company of others?

Soon, take a day of solitude. Think monastery. Maybe go that step further and take a vow of silence.

Wake with the sun and birds.  Fix a healthy breakfast. Wash your dish by hand. Take a walk. Observe. Really pay attention to life bustling around you. Explore. Dream. Learn something new. Try something new. Tend the flowers or garden. Read the paper at that al fresco Cafe enjoying their house lunch special. Take a Nap. Write a note. Or a poem. Or a song. Journal. Examine your feelings. Read a good novel while sipping Zin. Fix your favorite dinner. Consume it slowly. Savor every bite. Be mindful washing your dinner dishes by hand. Gratitude for the food strengthening your body. Take your time. Prepare a deep bubble bath and relax in it with candlelight and maybe a cup of tea or a bite of chocolate. Lotion your body. Towel dry your hair.  If it is cold...throw your quilt in the dryer. If it is hot...stuff your pillow in the freezer for a while. When it is dark...go to Sleep. 

Work your way up to a day trip...or a weekend getaway...somewhere you always wanted to see. Whether it is down the road or in Greece. Somewhere that has significance to you. If this is your first attempt at solo travel bring a journal to jot in or a camera to hide behind or a paperback to browse. A prop. It will slowly become more natural to you...until one day you may actually look forward to that week in New Orleans, or Athens, or Paris...just you...knowing that:

                                               "I AM ENOUGH"




Because LIFE...like your favorite meal 
                                        is meant to be consumed slowly...and savored
                                                                                                  to the last 
                                                                                                                bite.  










 

 

Word Search

A single word can say so much.

Evoke a feeling.

Describe a mood.

A time.

A person.

A place.

It can be a catalyst. Writers often use a word prompt to prime the creative well when it seems to have run dry. A single word leading to a 4,000 word essay.  Painting with words.

Take a minute today and think about your word (or words). What would your word be today?

Do you like it?

 If not...it is never too late to change it.

                                            Find your very own word!