Friends...so many shades of friendship...acquaintances...casual friends...golf buddies or car buddies...beer buddies...childhood friends...co-worker friends...professional friends...music/art/scrap-booking friends...book or cooking club friends...e-friends...travel friends...trail ride friends...family friends...best friends...for aways friends...close friends...friends who live miles away...married friends...college friends...companions or lovers.
Real friends...forever friends...love us...warts and all. Maybe love us more because we aren't perfect. Want to lose the same 25 pounds...and maybe will...as soon as we both finish this delightful slice of chocolate cake. Real friends listen...and care...and love. Real friends have our backs. Because we always have theirs.
Real friends sometimes step on each others toes...but they apologize...laugh...and stumble on together.
Real friends do not engage in Shadenfreude. A German term which describes getting pleasure from the misfortune of another.
Real friends aren't superficial...go through a tough time...you will certainly find out who are really your friends.
Just like our need for Solitude...our need for Companionship is inherent. Whether we are introverts or extroverts our tribe instinct has existed since the dawn of mankind. Some tend to gravitate toward people who are similar or have similar interests...some polar opposites. Most fall somewhere in the middle.
Egotists have the most trouble finding or keeping friends. Because to have a friend you have to be a friend. To be interested in someone other than yourself...and the minutia of your own life. To let someone else shine. To cheer someone else on. To sometimes try or do something outside your own Comfort Zone because your friend wants to try it or travel there or experience something. To care about someone else.
Potential friends?
Everywhere.
Across the street or down the hall...or across the Globe. At the grocery or Zumba class. In a group or online. A friend of a friend...or maybe just everyone you come in contact with everyday :)
The Universal Language?
A Smile
(...that one is simple...even infants pick up on it quickly...)
A joke...a shared interest...or commiserating together in the queue from Hell!
Keeping a friend.
Treat them the way you want to be treated. Let them shine and celebrate their achievements. Be there in the dark times and the light. Let them know they are important to you. Be their cheerleader...and they will be yours. Sometimes just listen...not everything is able to be fixed...but everyone is able to listen and care. Don't judge them, belittle them, humiliate them, chastise them or ignore them. People may forget what you said to them...but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Many "frenemies" are created just that way.
And "frenemies"?
Just send them love and light and wish them well
as they travel their path in life!
