Love

                             


Love  (noun) [lhuv]

1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend, animal or thing.

3.Sexual passion or desire.

4. A person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

So much for the dictionary. 

  

We know what it feels like...and what the loss of it feels like...and we toss the term about freely...we love our parents...our kids...our siblings...our spouse or lover...the dog or cat...but we also love ice cream...and the latest novel by our favorite author...the perfect sweater we bought last week...and barbecued ribs!

Yes, we certainly know how to love.

Or do we?

Over thirty years ago I heard a definition I thought summed LOVE up pretty well when a friend/lover told me: 

"Love...is when someone else's needs become greater than your own." 

Many years later another friend/lover would teach me that:

"Love has very little to do with the way you feel about someone...and EVERYTHING to do with the way they make you feel about yourself."

And in the 18 years of my marriage (and death of my husband) I learned that love can be forever. Beyond the grave.

And that all three statements are essentially true.

I know what love isn't.  It isn't selfish...or a declaration of ownership...or hateful...or vindictive...or conditional...or controlling... it is not to be taken for granted or withheld...or used as a tool to get what we want...it isn't battering or abusive no matter how sorry they are the next day...it isn't 50%-50%...and it sure as hell isn't never having to say you are sorry. It isn't perfect. It is a process. 


Forget about love being a noun. Love is a verb. Living and growing as we live and grow.

Who should we love?

EVERYONE

Our family/lovers/friends...ourself...our neighbors...the postman and clerk and the people that make up our daily round...the stranger on the street...those we have not met and those we will meet...even our enemies. Perhaps our enemies need our love and light most of all. 

Does it happen overnight?

No.

Will it always be accepted? 

Probably not.

   
 But as the Buddha teaches, the acceptance or rejection is not of our concern. We have no control over the accepting. We only have control over the giving.

We all carry love and light within. We have only to shine.